yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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