Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
