Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
