it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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