She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
