After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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