tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
