My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
