just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize