ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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