Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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