I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
