Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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