haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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