my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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