I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
