so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
