He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
