Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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