I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
