so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
