Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
