that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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