Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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