Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
