just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
