I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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