I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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