you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
