problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize