Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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