I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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