I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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