I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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