he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
