She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
