similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
