I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
nutella sex= disaster
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
