Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
