How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
