White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
