i just wanna soil my oats bro
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
