i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.