Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.