i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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