Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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  (856): a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell http://tfl.nu/7uki
  Replies (9) Good night (1393) Bad night (2170)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.

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  (678): I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes. http://tfl.nu/k74c
  Replies (75) Good night (981) Bad night (15445)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.

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  (813): No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want. http://tfl.nu/m7ba
  Replies (26) Good night (3864) Bad night (894)
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  (805): View more from California

  im having a threesome with these popsicles

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  (805): im having a threesome with these popsicles http://tfl.nu/tuy7
  Replies (27) Good night (3347) Bad night (1301)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (971) Bad night (8446)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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  (678): Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless. http://tfl.nu/cahf
  Replies (4) Good night (2938) Bad night (806)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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  (419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an
  Replies (11) Good night (7073) Bad night (1033)
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  (562): View more from California

  Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas

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  (562): Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas http://tfl.nu/zcne
  Replies (7) Good night (2908) Bad night (873)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.

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  (508): in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/rqsf
  Replies (9) Good night (1453) Bad night (2419)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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  (+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (514)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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  (719): I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear http://tfl.nu/cplq
  Replies (1) Good night (1055) Bad night (524)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

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  (614): My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep. http://tfl.nu/ua0k
  Replies (14) Good night (2591) Bad night (536)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets

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  (480): I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets http://tfl.nu/pibl
  Replies (7) Good night (425) Bad night (688)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

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  (614): Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/2wq9
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (330)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".

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  (386): When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me". http://tfl.nu/x44y
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (204)

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