I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I still have a little drunk in my system
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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