Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.