Plan B is the new Plan A
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
