would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
