nut hugger
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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