Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
