If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize