i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
BRING THE BAGELS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
