do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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