matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How does one acquire holy water?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
