I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
