gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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