girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
