Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Can I color on your dick again?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
