so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
