her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The adults are the big ones right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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