Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh god it's open bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
