After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
