I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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