Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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