i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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