Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
