He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
