PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
