i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
