The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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