i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
