I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it hurts more in the daytime
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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