drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
