walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Two words: blizzard sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
