Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize