I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize