You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
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She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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