I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
